Thursday, August 11, 2011

Memory Lapse

Sometimes I forget I have diabetes. 

It's not like I'm trying to forget.

Diabetes is what it is so I don't worry about making it what it isn't. 

But sometimes I forget. 

It's a bit like those times when you do something so routine that you forget five minutes later whether you've done it or not.  Brush your teeth.  Flush the toilet.  Turn off the oven...

...test sugar, count carbs and bolus for dinner.

Diabetes is not a controllable disease - it does what it wants and gets really pissed off if I pull too hard on the reigns.  But, just because it's not controllable doesn't mean that it's not routine.  Predictable.

So, I forget...for a little while.

I never notice at the time that I've forgotten (because I guess I wouldn't really have forgotten if I was thinking about it) but I notice later that there is a void of time where diabetes wasn't in my head.

I forgot this morning.  I did my 30 minute (4.32 kilometre) run.  Short runs like that have become routine and predictable.  They're short enough that I don't have to constantly stay in tune with how I'm feeling.  Am I high?  Am I low? 

I'm fine. 

I checked my sugar right before I left so I knew where I stood. Running easy for 30 minutes isn't enough to make me drop.  One date as a snack isn't enough to send me shooting up to the heavens. 

So I just ran. 

I don't even remember what I thought about.  My mind wandered here there and everywhere but it never, not for one millisecond, wondered how I was feeling. 

That was nice.

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